What if I can't qualify to refinance alone?

Selling is still on the table

Not qualifying can feel like losing the house. It may simply mean the house is the wrong size for one income right now. A sale pays off the loan, takes both names off it, and turns the equity into money each of you can use for the next place, whether that's renting or buying again.

Run both paths in the keep or sell tool. Look at the monthly cost and the cash each way.

That isn't failure.

A co-borrower, if the lender allows it

Some people ask a relative or a new partner to join the loan. Whether that's possible is the lender's decision, under its own rules, and I can't tell you what any lender will accept. Anyone who signs the note is taking on the debt, so they need their own advice before agreeing.

Ask the lender directly. Get the answer in writing.

If you're thinking of asking someone, talk it over with your attorney first, because their name on the loan ties them to your house and your payments for as long as that loan exists.

Waiting, by agreement

A third path is to keep the house for a defined period and sell later, which some agreements call a deferred sale. Both of you usually stay on the existing loan during that time, so the agreement has to spell out who pays and what happens if a payment is missed. Is a deferred sale an option? covers what to write down.

If your loan is FHA, an assumption may be another route; see can I assume our FHA or VA loan? Whichever path you pick, your attorney should draft it. I'll give you both the same market numbers to decide with.

Compare the paths

Put the options side by side before choosing. For each one, write down what it costs each month, how long it keeps the two of you tied to the same loan, what happens if a payment is missed, and what each of you walks away with at the end. Seeing them together helps. Sometimes the path that felt like giving up leaves you in the strongest position, and sometimes it doesn't, and either answer is worth knowing before you sign.