Planning the move around the kids

The parenting plan is for the case

Custody, parenting time and the parenting plan are decided by the two of you, your attorneys and, if needed, the court. I stay out of it entirely. I won't suggest who should have the kids on moving day or what to tell them about the move, and I won't ask either of you questions about parenting that your attorneys haven't already decided I need the answer to.

Each of the four counties I serve has a court rule requiring mediation when custody or parenting time is in dispute: Lane County SLR 8.012, Linn County SLR 12.005, Benton County SLR 12.005 and Douglas County SLR 12.015. Those are programs for parenting questions. They aren't about the house, and nothing I do in the sale depends on how a parenting dispute is resolved, beyond fitting the dates.

Give me the schedule

What I need is practical. Which days and hours are the kids at the house? When do they leave for school and get home? Is there a weekly handoff, and where does it happen? Write it down, or have your attorneys send the part of the plan that covers it.

With that, I can plan around it without either of you having to explain your week to the other. The schedule goes in the shared folder, like everything else, so both of you are working from the same calendar and neither of you has to wonder whether I booked a showing on the other's word alone.

If the schedule changes, tell me in writing. I'll adjust any booked showings and confirm the new times to both of you in one email.

Showings in windows

Instead of taking showing requests at any hour, agree on set windows: weekday hours while the kids are at school, say, and one block on the weekend. Buyers' agents book inside those windows. It's predictable for everyone.

If the kids split time between two homes, the windows can follow that too, with more showing hours on the days nobody is home after school and fewer on the days somebody is.

Whoever lives in the house gets a confirmed notice for each showing, and agrees in advance how much notice is enough. Pets, school bags, homework on the table: having a fifteen-minute routine for clearing up, practiced a couple of times, makes short-notice showings far less painful.

Use the school calendar

The district calendar is the most useful planning document you'll have. Print it. Mark the first and last days of school, the long breaks and the teacher work days, and then circle the dates you'd both like to keep clear of anything to do with the house, like a move in exam week or a closing on the first day back.

A listing date, an expected closing range and two moving days can all be set against it. I'll build a timeline for both of you with those dates marked, and update it in writing when anything shifts. A buyer may ask for a different closing date than you hoped, and with the calendar in hand you'll both know right away whether you can say yes.

Photo day and open houses

The listing photos take a few hours in a house that's ready, and the house needs to be empty of people while they're taken. Pick a school day if you can, or a day your schedule already has the kids somewhere else. I'll confirm the date and time to both of you in writing a week ahead.

Open houses are optional. You may like the idea, or you may prefer only booked showings. If you do hold one, it runs for a set block of hours, and whoever lives in the house will need somewhere else to be for all of it, kids and pets included.

Decide together whether you want them. Then put the answer in the pricing and showing plan, so I'm not asking again every weekend.

Two moves, two calendars

In a divorce, a sale usually means two households moving, not one, and each move has to fit the parenting schedule. Put both moving days in writing. Agree which one happens first, and what happens to the kids' rooms in between, so the house still shows well.

If either of you is buying a new place, the closing dates matter too. I can help either of you with the next home, separately and on your own terms, and line the purchase dates up with the sale so nobody ends up with a gap of a week between leaving one house and getting keys to the next.

Short gaps happen anyway. Plan for one.

Keep family life out of the listing

Showing feedback, the listing description and my conversations with buyers' agents are about the house only. I don't mention the divorce, the kids or the reason for the sale, and I'll ask both of you to do the same if a buyer ever catches you in the driveway.

Buyers don't need to know why you're selling, and they don't need to see your family's life. Before photos, take the family pictures off the walls, the calendar off the fridge and the kids' names off the bedroom doors. It's privacy, not decoration.

Listings describe the house and nothing else. I won't describe your home or your town by who it might suit, because that isn't fair to buyers, and Oregon fair housing law protects marital status (ORS 659A.421). The house sells on the house.