When one of you still lives there

A showing plan in writing

The spouse in the house carries most of the work of a listing: the dishes, the dog, the twenty-minute warning before a buyer pulls up. I want that respected. Before the house goes live, we'll agree on how much notice I give, which hours are open, and who handles keys and lockbox codes.

The spouse who moved out gets the same showing feedback on the same day, along with any notes I make about the condition of the house, so nobody is relying on a secondhand report from the other. Fair is simple here. Pets need a plan too, so tell me where they'll be during each showing. A shared calendar helps.

• Minimum notice for each showing, and how it's sent
• Hours and days that are off limits
• Whether the spouse living there leaves during showings
• Whether the spouse who moved out can visit, and with how much notice

Who pays while it sells

The mortgage, taxes, insurance and utilities don't pause for a listing. You can agree on who pays what, and the agreement should be in writing. If you can't agree while the case is pending, ORS 107.095 lets the court issue temporary orders on use and possession of the property and on who pays the liens.

Keep receipts. Your attorneys may want to account for payments when the proceeds are divided. The guide to paying for the house while it sells has a simple log you can copy.

If one of you is paying everything while the other pays nothing, tell your attorney early rather than at closing, because a long list of payments is easier to account for when it's been tracked month by month from the start.

Exclusive use of the home

ORS 107.095 also lets the court order a party out of the family home in limited circumstances. In Lane County, SLR 8.042 sets out how to ask for exclusive use while a case is pending: an affidavit, an order to show cause, and service at least 21 days before the hearing. Other counties have their own procedures. Outside Lane County, ask your attorney what the local procedure is.

That's a legal step with real consequences. Talk to your attorney.

If either of you is thinking about asking for exclusive use, tell your attorney what the listing schedule looks like, because a hearing date, a move-out date and a listing date that don't fit together can cost weeks of showings and a lot of goodwill.

Getting the house ready

Start small. Prep is harder when one person lives there and two people own it. I'll walk through with whichever of you is in the house and send you both the same list of what I'd fix, what I'd leave and roughly what the work involves, then you decide together who pays for what. If the spouse living there is doing the cleaning, painting and decluttering, agree in writing how that time and money are counted, so the work doesn't turn into another argument when the proceeds are divided. Nobody should come home to find a stranger's paint swatches on the wall.

The guide to preparing the house after one of you moves out goes room by room.

Access for the one who left

The spouse who moved out still owns the house, and may need to pick up belongings, meet an inspector or see what buyers are seeing. Agree in writing how that works, with notice and a time window, and whether someone else should be there. Then stick to it. Write down every visit.

I won't let anyone into the house outside the agreed rules, including either of you, and I'll tell you both if someone asks. If you can't agree on access, ORS 107.095 lets the court make temporary orders on use and possession while the case is pending, so that's a question for your attorney.

The tax rule on residence

If you moved out, you may wonder whether you still count as living there for the home-sale exclusion. IRS Publication 523 says you can count the home as your residence while your former spouse is allowed to live there under a divorce or separation instrument and uses it as their main home. How that applies to your dates is a CPA question. Your CPA will want both of your dates.

Bring the instrument to that appointment. It's the document that matters.

If you're the one still living there, the same appointment is worth having, since your own ownership and use dates decide your side of the exclusion.